the big one

Well oh they might wear classic Reeboks Or knackered Converse Or tracky bottoms tucked in socks But all of that's what the point is not The point's that there ain't no romance around there And there's the truth that they can't see They'd probably like to throw a punch at me And if you could only see them, then you would agree Agree that there ain't no romance around there - Arctic Monkeys, A Certain Romance.

Earlier i alluded to a rant that i had on firday night, i wont recreate what happened during the rant becauce what really will interest you was the conclusion. I am not happy with my life, i may consider this a third life crisis, yeah im only 20 and that would mean that i would die at 60 but i dont like the doctor and will most likely die on some idiotic weekend in Vegas. (Where i want to have my 21st.) Basically i have no more Romance in my life, not just one with long hair and a nice smile and dental floss down the butt crack. No the things in life that make that certain day special, music was one of the reasons that was getting me through this wretched time. Although i still download about an album a day finding bands doesnt give me the same thrill as before. Case in point even though Arctic Monkeys are better than Maximo Park, i still dont go around screaming their praises. Man i loved the Park.

Sean Puff- P-Diddy Combs on his boring campaign for his fragrance says life without passion is boring. As much as he wants to take credit for that he isnt getting it. In Candide by Voltaire there is a businessman that has everything he ever wants. However he finds ennui which is boredom in english and can not shake it. That lucky sod had at least everything he wanted. The things i want in life even the simple things are not here in this town. I worry that i have gotten so paranoid that even when told that i won a prize today i wondered whether it was like one of those redneck carjackings. (FYI if travelling down an obscure road and some random girls flash at you it isnt because you are driving one hot car but because they are part of a crime sting.) Tomorrow ill find out what won probably most likely to die in a drive-by.

What can be done to find romance? Join a dating agency? yeah maybe ill join WAsPdate and bag me a jewish librarian with dark hair and a fufill her racist fantasies? I'll think ill pass, How about do an anti-blackface jesus and become a blogger/myspace celebrity, id rather gouge my eyes out. Ill think ill drink some camomile and read about the history of the mafia whilst listening to cat power and nouvelle vague.