Song disesction (Part 1)

....... Not Your average music critic...................
I was going to do a little bit on 70's adult films but i decided not to after 5 minutes because writing about deep throat (unbelievably shit on all levels) was not what i had in mind for this blog. Instead i thought i would write about my favourite 80's song off all time. But first the ones that didnt make the cut.
Human League - Dont You Want me Baby? (unbelievable song, mainly because its a guy talking about the love he lost and then the love he lost telling us why it didnt work out)
Duran Duran - Planet Earth ( some would go with rio, girls on film and another favourite A view to a kill. This song is perfect for the summer, winter, late nights or whenever i get out the shower. Think of this song as the gymnast girlfriend you always fantasised about.)
Blondie - atomic (i love debbie harrie, end of)
Madonna - like a prayer ( one the best pop songs of all time, great vocal that is versatile enough to be used on new stuff)

So my favourite 80's song is one that i discovered recently. It was used as a come down track on a mix that i heard. A come down track is the last song of the night used to calm folks down after the mad rush of all the dancing, shitty djs use slow songs but not everyone wants to hug up against each when drenched in sweat. Women glisten, men sweat like ugly hogs, i know this first hand. Anywho so the song is not a slow one or a fast one. Just off kilter enough to be dancey, dont believe me, watch the beginning of the clerks 2 trailer. The simple yet not intrusive drum beat, the single echoing of the notes of the key board. The prolonged ones in the background. What kills it for me is the singing, wistfull yet powerfull at the same time. A deep female vocal that breaks when attempting to hit the high notes. The second verse she ,not only, mispronouces the word ground (grwoand) but elongates it to knock you off key again. Plus when dancing to this, you are forced to consider where you beat timing goes. Unlike to today where the 4 beat, epescially in rap, is given to you on a platter. This is a wierd 8-6-6-8-6 beat.

Another reason why the song is great is the name. Carrying on in the tradition of songs that use horse, Bob dylan - all the tired horses , Rolling stones - wild horses, chesnut mare by the bryds ... need i go on. Now of course Horse is a slang term for smack or heroin. And since heroinchic is coming back, this song could lead the movement. The hip new drug is ketamine, give it a year and you will catch kate moss doing it, ketamine is horse tranquiliser, so this song is great for the druggies. Plus what girl wouldnt want to dance when she hears the word horses. Its programmed into her as a child that she must love the four legged beast. Goodbye horses could be a coming of age song for a girl, it could represent the loss of childhood, puberty and becoming a woman. Of course in today's society that would mean she would be listening to this song at 9 but thats not my problem at least for another 20 years. Then i have to worry about it at the age of 6.
If this song was a horse it would be Pegasus, the winged horse, majestic and a horse god. Smart girls will love the song as well, come on greek mythology gets the oxford girls going. Believe me i know, i had a 15 minute conversation with one about the way the media portrays women, all i asked was her name.
I just found out this song was used in silence of the lambs, this could count against it, if people remember this what happens when they hear the opening bars? Thoughts of cannibalism is the last night you need in your mind when trying to get it on with a lady friend. Plus these lyrics dont help.
You told me, I see you rise
But, it always, falls
I see you come, I see you go
Basically its a description fo a one night stand. Good luck with that one champ. She summed up a night of passion with you in 4 lines and apporximately 20 seconds. Luckily you lasted longer ..... by a little bit. By the time the word 'Groawnd' hits you forget this and just zone out and let the music affect your danacing. The Woohooo gets you back in the game, i suggest at this point eye contact is a must. Nibble if you must. ...........

Which leads me to my final point, do not use this song until the third date. Why? Let me tell you a story, it was one sunny night in california, i was about 17 at the time. I was in a car with 4 cheerleaders( a white one, black one, latina and a beach bunny, it was a sight to behold) and 4 guys, including me. We just met, headed off to some wood, so inside the suv we chatted, when one girl asked me what music i liked, i told her the truth. Bad idea, i should have said linkin park instead of oasis, mos def and the rolling stones. I dont like linkin park but that shouldnt cockbock me. So my message to you is to wait a bit when asked the question, then throw in some crappy pop names (fiddy) . Or do what i do ,find mixes that are bearable, i have one of britney spears slave 4 u mixed with daft punk. Works like a charm. Remember for every Amelie girl there are 15 Cheaper by the Dozen girls. Find an amelie and dont lose it, you will regret it.

http://www.emp3world.com/mp3/51553/Q%20Lazzarus/Goodbye%20Horses
(open link then right click where it tells you to)