I'm Soooo Wasted

So on day 5 of illness week I decided to write about something apart from myself. So I have already mentioned the greatest invention since electricity youtube.com. Usually I will have a gander at the big stuff you know Popozao or Lazy Sunday. Sometimes I will throw in some random stuff just to see whether people have heard of them. Of course then you type in your name and then family members and finally friends in hope/fear that something comes up. I type in someone I knew pretty well from my Webb days in sheer fear because fear that I may have seen a porno with him in it. (Serves me right for watching real life sex, im sorry huge air bags and orange skin doesn’t do it for me.)

So then I type in some music artists to see either the videos I have never seen or extra stuff I have never heard of before. Then when I get really bored I type in stuff that I know is big in the states that will never make it's way over here. Today’s example is D4l's Laffy Taffy, no don’t get me wrong I heard this musical monstrosity over Christmas in Nigeria. Believe the line about jolly ranchers isn’t that funny when it’s 35 C and you are stuck in a traffic jam. Today was the first time I heard the song intently.....I couldn’t get halfway through its just pure shit. Now as someone that predicted the apocalypse due to the popularity of My Humps. (The day I showed the video to one friend, he took his hat off and said without a trace of irony, he's 21, I feel sorry for the kids of today.) At least with my humps there were about 8 different versions that I could play for girls and that changed it up for me. Laffy Taffy is just pure shit, sure I don’t find the 'finger snap' movement, shit one of my nicknames is that of the ying yang twins. Laffy Taffy is almost as bad as Candy Shop in poor metaphors of 2005. Oh and by saying that his dick is like a jolly rancher it may stay hard but it’s also small and you can easily break it. To get to my point is this..... Youtube showed me the video and about 40 different videos of people doing their own version. I watched 12 year old girls dance to laffy taffy just as the video girls did. I don’t mind that but the posting on the internet isn’t the problem, it’s the dirty motherfuckers on the internet. I cant help but feel weird, im 20, watching some 14 year old girls shake their non-existent(most of them happen to be Caucasian, im not discriminating im addicted to white chocolate, yes that’s a metaphor) ass in front of a web cam.

After getting over that icky feeling I then typed in drunk and proceeded to watch many videos of people around the world acting drunk. First things first people need to record drunken moments for longer than 20 seconds, you can’t get the feel of the party with only 20 seconds. Second I miss getting dunk, sure at one point I was what some described being an alkie but now those moments are few and far between. One reason is that im more interested in remembering nights than ever before. Also I would rather buy better and more expensive alcohol.... tequila. The reason why we enjoy drinking or partying is that we can throw caution to the wind and be care free. We all wish that we were kids again and we didn’t have to worry about school, work or life. We all want to rush back into that proverbial funhouse. Unfortunately we can’t do it in society without the "excuse" of alcohol or drugs. To be honest I need to have one of those nights and just chill. Or go fucking nuts.

It goes while you're here
I wanna tell you something
It's that I love you girl
Yeah, and I wish we could run to the sun
And never come back
Yeah